Beauty for Ashes

I remember sitting on top of a helipad on an oil rig platform in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. If you would have asked me a year prior if I saw myself on this rig in the middle of the ocean, I would have told you that there was no way I could be up there. But this is where I found myself. You see, less than a year prior I was married to my high school sweetheart, had a great job at UPS, was doing well in college as a Junior living in New Orleans pursuing an education for ministry in a field God had yet to reveal to me. Life could not have been better. 

Then it happened. Hurricane Katrina came ashore on August 23, 2005 as a Category 5 hurricane with winds of over 170 miles per hour. She caused over 1,800 deaths and $125 billion in damages. Part of that destruction was the campus of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and their off-campus housing in which me and my newly married bride lived.

As the hurricane swept away levee’s, houses, and lives, it also swept away dreams. My wife and I had dreams like any other newly married couple, but with 11 foot of water flooding our apartment those dreams swept away with our furniture and wedding presents. We went from having our future perfectly mapped out to living in a borrowed 100-year-old cabin in the middle of a pine tree farm. 

My wife had a full scholarship to the University of New Orleans which she lost due to having to relocate. I went from working right down the street and having a great GPA to driving an hour to work, not one, but two jobs trying to pay the bills for school and life. Eventually I had to drop out of school and take a job on an oil rig to pay the bills so my wonderful wife could stay in school. If you thought being newlyweds, losing everything, making two major moves, and changing schools all in less than a year was hard, try doing it all and only seeing your spouse a few days a month. 

What was supposed to be this fairytale was anything but as I sat on that helipad. I pleaded, I cried. I wondered why God would allow this to happen. I was not serving in ministry. I was a lousy husband. I was absolutely no good as a disciple, so why didn’t he just go ahead and abandon me. I was no good to him. I was lower than rock bottom. My mind and my life were so far from where they should have been at this point, I didn’t know which way was up or which way was down. 

But a curious thing happened on that oil rig. I spent a lot of time alone with God. A lot of crying and praying. A lot of yelling and questioning. A lot of trusting and losing trust. A lot of disciplining from the Lord occurred. (And believe me, I am still learning discipline). I didn’t know what my life would be like the next week, much less the next year or 10 years. I didn’t know anything, but I learned to trust God in the ditch, or rather in the middle of the ocean. 

Did everything turn out perfect? No, it did not, but as I look back now over 15 years later, the lessons I learned during that horrible season of life are still with me today. I am reminded of God’s words to the people of Israel in Isaiah 61 verse 3,

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”

The lessons God taught me on that rig and in that season of life prepared me for more trials and more difficult times. I am able to look back and see his faithfulness when I didn’t deserve it and know he will take care of me and continue to draw me close to himself.

Your life may be in shambles right now and you cannot tell up from down or back from front. The walls of your house may literally be crumbling, and you don’t know where your next paycheck will come from, how this relationship will be reconciled, how you will make it through the next week. Yes, life is absolutely difficult sometimes. But know this. The Lord will bring you through your times of mourning and where you once had ashes, he will give you beautiful blessings. Those tears you once cried in anguish will be a testimony of praise to his faithfulness. Where anxiety and fear once ruled your life, praise will dominate your mind. 

God is using these most difficult and often heartbreaking times in your life to plant deep roots of faith in you so that you will grow tall and strong and able to withstand the forces of this world. 

Be strong beloved. Be faithful. Allow God the freedom to cause you to mourn so that one day he may bring beauty from your ashes. 

God Bless,

Brad