The Blessings of Intentional Fathering

Regardless of your station in life, fathering today is much different than being a father, even ten years ago, much less 50 years ago. Dads raising Millennials (kids born between 1981 and 96) and Generation Z (kids born between 1997 and 2015) children face issues unprecedented in parenting. Kids in these generations have access to more information than all generations before them combined. With the constant connection of society, Millennials and Generation Z feel a continued pressure to stay connected, perform, and achieve from the earliest of ages. This pressure has led to an increase in anxiety, depression, and suicide for these generations never experienced previously. 

With the gulf between parent and child so wide how does a man attempt to father his son or daughter during this time? Before I share a few thoughts from God’s word with you I want to caution you-MISTAKES WILL BE MADE!

As a fallen sinful man in constant need of God’s grace yourself please understand that you are not perfect, nor will you be on this side of heaven. In seeking to raise godly children, who love the Lord and live for him you will not get it right; heck, I’ve never had a perfect day when it comes to fathering. 

I want to offer you some words of affirmation and encouragement today. I do this as a dad who has fallen more times than I care to admit. I encourage you as a child of God, knowing that while I am not perfect, I have a heavenly Father who is and who is so quick to show me grace when I put my imperfections on full display. In sharing with you today I take full responsibility in my own brokenness and need of Christ. I am not attempting to share with you something I am an expert in, but as a fellow traveler and practitioner of fatherhood, I want to provide you encouragement and hope today. 

Be Deliberate about Prioritizing Your Wife

Men let your son see what it looks like to be a man who genuinely and selflessly loves his wife. Allow your daughter to observe how a woman is to be provided for and protected. Our marriages are meant to represent the relationship Jesus has with his church. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:22-33 that Jesus leads his church by serving his church. Are you serving your wife? Are you honoring her? Are you helping her become the woman God desires? Let your children know that your wife is the most important person in the world to you. Do not be afraid to tell your children “no” in order to spend time with the bride God has blessed you with. Prioritizing and honoring your wife will provide a foundation for your children’s relationships throughout their lives. One of the healthiest, strongest, and godliest examples you can provide for your children is to selflessly love and prioritize your wife. 

Be Patient as Your Child Grows

Look, I know what it like to be in a hurry to get in the car and your daughter is taking forever brushing her hair or changing her clothes for the ninth time. I understand the struggle  of correcting your son for the tenth time because he will not pick the toilet seat up when he goes #1. I get it, I really do. We can quickly and easily lose our patience with our kids. With all the pressures of life, it is easy and understandable to be short, crass, or less than patient with our kids. In Ephesians 6:4 Paul instructs fathers to “not provoke your children to wrath.” One of the quickest ways we cause our children to learn and grow in anger is by being angry to them and losing our patience. “But Brad you don’t understand how frustrating it is sometimes!” Look, I understand your apprehension, but understand this. God, the holy and righteous heavenly Father, creator of heaven and earth, he shows us patience on a daily basis, if we are being honest on a momentary basis. How many times have you had to go to God for forgiveness and advice to address the same old sin or struggle? How does he respond to you? He welcomes you. He recognizes your fallen nature and he shows patience and grace as you slowly grow to become a mature man in Christ. So, instead of flying off the handle the next time your son flushes another Hot Wheels down the toilet take a breath, say a prayer, and be patient with him as God is patient with you. 

Be Persistent in Spending Time with Your Child

The cost of living is causing many families to need two-parent incomes and is causing dads to work more hours to provide a life for their children they did not have growing up. I want to caution you here dad. Your son or daughter needs you more than they need a vacation, a new gaming system, or a new piece of sports equipment. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is one of the most important passages in the Bible on godly parenting. It is not my intention to dissect the passage for us, but I encourage you to read it in full. This passage talks about intentionally, formally and informally sharing the Word of God with your children. Here is the kicker though-we have to spend time with our kids if we are to share God’s Word with them. Dad listen, your kid’s desire to spend time with you is NOT a burden, it is a blessing. My heart was blessed just last night as Jase, my six-year-old, and I were playing Mario Kart. Jase looked at me and said, “I love playing this game with you daddy.” To think I almost did not play with him because I wanted to watch an episode of The Office for the 20th time. Just as we grow as we spend time with our heavenly Father, so your son and daughter will grow as you spend time with them. 

Is it difficult to be an intentional father? You better believe it. But there is nothing better in the world than seeing your son or daughter grow to understand Christ deeper, love him more, and live for him fully. It starts as we make a commitment to be intentional about our walk with God and continues as we intentionally lead our children to walk with God. Come on dad, we can do this together!

God Bless, 

Bro. Brad